For our RAD kids, eye contact is challenging. A lack of security and trust in their relationships results in only brief episode of eye contact. Cutie would much rather look away and ham it up for the camera or anyone else watching, then stay "in the moment" with me.
My best chance at getting a few seconds of eye contact is to make a game of it (i.e. staring contest, funny faces, mirror me, etc)
However, this week we had a MAGICAL MOMENT of eye contact! A few weeks ago when Cutie was self-soothing, I held her hands and calmly told her, "Sweetheart, you don't need to do that to feel better. Look into my eyes and see my love for you. Then you will feel better." She glanced at my eyes and returned a blank expression....unable to see my love for her. I let it go (on the outside anyway, inside I was crying). This week, while Cutie floated in the bathtub, she searched my eyes for 20 sec. or so, then her eyes lit up. She sat up in the tub and exclaimed, "I see it, Mommy! I see LOVE in your eyes!" Oh, let me tell you...the tears came!
I told her "Cutie, my love is here every day for you. Anytime you aren't sure if you can trust me, look right here and see my love for you." We held hands and maintained a loving moment of eye contact in which my heart soared and I thanked God for the healing that is happening in Cutie's heart each day.
3 comments:
WOW...nothing else to say Andrea...just WOW!!!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
Did I say thank you????
Love this post!
So sweet!
How was everyone's Christmas? We changed how we did some things and it went VERY well. I could not be more pleased. No giant meltdowns until New Years. And my son behaved pretty well himself. lol.
Even though it went good for us, I am glad it is over and we are back in a normal routine here!
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