Leaning INTO Him

Tonight my husband was giving haircuts to two of our boys on the back deck.  The oldest went first and was continually leaning away trying to avoid the clippers.  My husband kept saying, "Buddy, stop leaning away from me."  But he kept leaning away anyway.
Then it was Clown's turn.  And do you know what?  HE LEANED INTO HIM.  He kept leaning his head closer and closer to his daddy.  He leaned TOWARD his daddy.  Do you hear that?  I know if you are a parent of a RAD kiddo you understand how huge that is.  He leaned INTO him.  Not away from him.

The child who has spent so much of his energy for so many years trying to get away from us...running AWAY from our love. That same child today during a haircut leaned TOWARD his daddy.
It's what we are all trying to get our RAD kiddos to do all day every day.  We struggle with our entire lives, every ounce of our beings to get our kids to learn to lean into us.
I know it was just a haircut but still...he physically leaned TOWARD his daddy instead of AWAY from him.  And that is a blessing we are seeing more and more of lately on our road to healing his little heart.  We are starting to see a bit more leaning TOWARD.
As my kids would say, "Hip, Hip, Hooray.  It's a Frog Croaking Day!"

Magical Moment

For our RAD kids, eye contact is challenging. A lack of security and trust in their relationships results in only brief episode of eye contact. Cutie would much rather look away and ham it up for the camera or anyone else watching, then stay "in the moment" with me.

My best chance at getting a few seconds of eye contact is to make a game of it (i.e. staring contest, funny faces, mirror me, etc)

However, this week we had a MAGICAL MOMENT of eye contact! A few weeks ago when Cutie was self-soothing, I held her hands and calmly told her, "Sweetheart, you don't need to do that to feel better. Look into my eyes and see my love for you. Then you will feel better." She glanced at my eyes and returned a blank expression....unable to see my love for her. I let it go (on the outside anyway, inside I was crying). This week, while Cutie floated in the bathtub, she searched my eyes for 20 sec. or so, then her eyes lit up. She sat up in the tub and exclaimed, "I see it, Mommy! I see LOVE in your eyes!" Oh, let me tell you...the tears came!

I told her "Cutie, my love is here every day for you. Anytime you aren't sure if you can trust me, look right here and see my love for you." We held hands and maintained a loving moment of eye contact in which my heart soared and I thanked God for the healing that is happening in Cutie's heart each day.

A Glimmer of Hope

The holidays are so stressful for RAD kids (and their parents). The busyness, school performances, and crowded households full of friends and relatives all contribute to the many bad days our kids have this time of year.

So, when our kids have a shining moment, it's cause for celebration. Last Sunday Cutie's class wrote their own version of the 23rd Psalm. My favorite line in Cutie's Psalm was "I am never alone when I'm with my mom. Thank you God for my family."

Celebrating this glimmer of hope with you!

Andrea