Having a RAD Christmas

'Tis the season....for meltdowns, rages, and rejections of our love. The lack of a consistent schedule, large family gatherings, noisy class parties, and holiday performances make late November and all of December anything but holly and jolly for our RAD kids. I talked with our psychologist who specializes in attachment, Rick Sudsberry, about how to make this time of year go more smoothly for our RAD families. Here's his advice:

1. Avoid large family gatherings. Opt for meeting with a few family members at a time over the weeks before Christmas. For us, Christmas usually involves 25 people. This year we're going to celebrate with my husband's parents and a couple of aunts on Christmas Eve and keep Christmas Day just for our immediate family of 4.

2. Keep their world small. Avoid places like the Children's Museum, Bounce Houses, and arcades. The amount of visual and auditory stimulation in these crowded places is just too much for our kids especially this time of year. For us, we are staying home a lot playing board games, watching Christmas specials, making Christmas presents & cookies, and building gingerbread houses. If we go out, we choose a quieter, less busy place such as the gingerbread house exhibit at the Children's Museum, the Nutcracker Ballet at a small community theater, a holiday tea at Serenity restaurant in Zionsville, or winter activities at our local library.

3. Keep them out of busy shopping malls. I recommend shopping online, then YOU can avoid those stressful malls too! But, if you must shop at a store, leave your RAD child with your spouse, a grandparent, or hire a babysitter. The flashing lights, bright "Buy Me" signs, and hundreds of toys that your child feels he must have overstimulates him and stresses him out.

4. On the break from school, maintain a schedule. Our RAD kids function best when life is predictable. So, the times they wake up, eat meals, and go to bed should be consistent each day. Try to stay at home as much as possible.

5. Make 1-on-1 time a priority. Your RAD child really needs time with you every day. My RAD child is an early riser and so am I. We spend our special time together from 6:30-7:30 am before the boys in our house wake up. We snuggle (for about 30 seconds!), read books, sing, chit chat, and play a favorite game. I sneak in lots of touch and loving words during this time through tickles, nose touches, and "accidentally" bumping into her and giggling "Oh excuse me, sweetheart!" This time proactively sets us up for a good morning with the rest of the family.

6. Visit Santa at a less crowded locale. If you live on the northside, Clay Terrace has a small Santa house. You wait in line outside (so dress warm), but when it's your turn, you have the whole house to yourself and Santa's full attention. No screaming babies or feisty toddlers rushing your child's experience. The Santa has a real beard and is sweet as pie! (See pix at top.)