Furious...or something like that!

Today is one of those days where I feel FURIOUS!
Today I have HAD it...and, yes, it's only 9:50 A.M.
Today my clown was just pushing my buttons and HE GOT ME.


What was it you ask.  What HORRIFYING thing did he do?  Who did he injure?  What has happened?
Well, let me tell you...


he


    had


            the


                 NERVE

                  
                               to....

ZIP HIS COAT!!!!!!!

I know, right, of all the things!

You are ready to rip his head off with me aren't you?

Here is the back story:

Last week another one of my children went to see their psychologist and they spent most of the time talking about how he was just going to have to assume that every time he was around Clown that Clown was going to misbehave or do something to annoy him...EVERY TIME.  And do you know what?  That is exactly right.  He will, every time.  He loves to control his siblings emotions and make them mad (We can all relate to that can't we.)

So, I had that on my mind and I started the morning with a bit of a chip on my shoulder toward Clown for something that we all know is not at all his fault.  He did not ask to be neglected, abused, ignored, disrupted, or moved from here to there like he was a hand-me-down bicycle...but he was.


So, this morning I started off in not a great place.  When Clown woke up he was in a good mood.  He came into our bedroom to get ready as is his routine.  Then about 15 minutes into his getting ready our son who had just talked to his psychologist about assuming that Clown would misbehave when he was around walked in.  He went into the bathroom and immediately Clown started picking on him...making faces at him, whispering insults at him under his breath, etc...

So, that made me mad.

So, I called Clown to me and had him get ready in my immediate presence.  And he was fine.  And I had him stay with me the rest of the morning.  

So, as we are getting ready to go out the door he can't find his coat.  It is not on his coat hook.  We look for it together and can't find it.  I finally grab a different one and shove him out the door, which made him upset.

So, I tell him to put it on in the van and he refuses.

So, when we get to the school I don't let him get out of the van until he has the coat on.  He puts the coat on and then stands there fiddling with the zipper.  Meanwhile there is a huge line of cars piling up behind us.  I tell Clown not to zip it and just to head in.  He says that he needs it zipped.  I tell him NO and make him get out of the van.

So, he gets out, turns and looks at me, puts his backpack down, smiles, and starts to zip his coat.

So, I tell him to stop and go to class.

So, He picks up his bags and walks about 5 feet.  I start to pull away.  He sees me moving, turns and looks at me, puts his backpack down, smiles at me, and starts to zip his coat.

So, I put the car in park, open my car door, start to get out, and he starts walking again.

So, I close the door and start to drive off.  As I turn to look at him he looks back at me.  Just as I am at the point where I can't turn around. . . . he stops, puts his backpack down, smiles,

and zips his coat.  

So, I am FURIOUS.  But I can't go back.  I started to pull into the other parking lot and head inside when I realize HE WON!!  I can't go inside and get him because I have no shoes and no bra on.  So, that is how him zipping a coat made me Furious!!!  

JUST zipping a coat!!!

My Nutso Moment

So, here is goes.  This blog is suppose to be one that helps others not feel alone, one where we can relate to one another, one that gives a face to RAD.  So, I was venting via email to Andrea (my bloggy partner) just now and I realized that this is the stuff that needs put out there.  This is the kind of thing that we RAD parents can all relate to and if I don't share it transparently  why would anyone else?  

So here it goes...

My clown is escalating again. 

I am stressed about it. 

I am having a pity party about it.  

 There have been a lot of issues at school lately. 

We had an appointment this week with the Geneticist (because he is lucky enough to have more than one diagnosis of course...YIPPEE).  That appointment did not go well for Clown.  

We also had an appointment with the pediatrician this week that did not go well. 

Then to top it off we had a dentist appointment and....

YEP...

You guessed it...

MORE BAD NEWS...

So I just sat there and cried in the office wondering is there EVER a place that this little boy can go without bad news?  

Is there ever a place where his mama can go without hearing more bad news?  

Will the day come that we go somewhere, anywhere, and hear a report that says "All is well. We will see you back next year."?

And if that day never comes for this little boy and this particular mama will we both be ok?

I am guessing that the answer is, "Yes"...

But it's just a guess.  

Do you have those days?  

Do you have those moments when, even though you are in a dentist office and received news that pales in comparison to the rest of the news you have gotten that week, you cry and make the people at the office think you are a nut for crying because your child needs two fillings?

But there I sat...my face in my hands, seemingly crying because my son needed two fillings.  

Once again proving that RAD parents truly are nutso!!!

YOU'RE WELCOME!