Weekend Away Anyone???

This is no fancy post with any funny antidotes or heartfelt moments.   This is a prayer post and a invitation post.

If you are the parent of a RAD kid then I am praying this prayer over you right now.   If you are not the parent of a RAD kid but you know one or even if you don't please join me in this prayer right now.  Summer months can be oh so rough for RAD families and RAD kids.

"Dear Jesus,
Please be with my sweet friends.  Hold them and love them and keep their hearts in your hand.  Please help these blessed parents whose hands are full to the brim but whose hearts seem to constantly be emptying.   Please Father, give peace to the hearts of all the moms and dads who are struggling to show their child that they love them.  Please give them strength to do what they need to do but also the knowledge to know their child's healing does not lie in their hands but in yours.  Give them freedom to say, "It's too much: and to let you take over.  Heavenly Father, tonight give them each rest physically and emotionally.
Amen"

Second thing...anyone feel in need of some time away to get pumped up by other moms who get it?  If so comment on this post and let me know.  If you include contact information I will not publish the comment so your contact info is not out there for the world to see.  I know a few of you are in but am wondering if there is anyone else out there who would like to be included in a weekend away.  It seems like so many of the kids are having a hard time and maybe it's the right time for a get together so we can build each other up.

Leaning INTO Him

Tonight my husband was giving haircuts to two of our boys on the back deck.  The oldest went first and was continually leaning away trying to avoid the clippers.  My husband kept saying, "Buddy, stop leaning away from me."  But he kept leaning away anyway.
Then it was Clown's turn.  And do you know what?  HE LEANED INTO HIM.  He kept leaning his head closer and closer to his daddy.  He leaned TOWARD his daddy.  Do you hear that?  I know if you are a parent of a RAD kiddo you understand how huge that is.  He leaned INTO him.  Not away from him.

The child who has spent so much of his energy for so many years trying to get away from us...running AWAY from our love. That same child today during a haircut leaned TOWARD his daddy.
It's what we are all trying to get our RAD kiddos to do all day every day.  We struggle with our entire lives, every ounce of our beings to get our kids to learn to lean into us.
I know it was just a haircut but still...he physically leaned TOWARD his daddy instead of AWAY from him.  And that is a blessing we are seeing more and more of lately on our road to healing his little heart.  We are starting to see a bit more leaning TOWARD.
As my kids would say, "Hip, Hip, Hooray.  It's a Frog Croaking Day!"

CRAP

Does anyone else think it's NOT COOL that our kiddo's diagnosis when abbreviated is the word RAD?  I mean, really....it is so NOT RAD....for us or them!

I've been trying to think of things to rename it.

Here are a few of my thoughts...feel free to play along.
If we can't laugh then we will cry right?

Crazy Reactive Attachment Psychosis     (CRAP)
Attachment Stunted pSychosis                  (ASS)

So, what do you think?  What would you name it if you had the chance?

Although I do have to say that it is kinda nice that when my husband comes home and asks me how the day has been I can say, "It's been a RAD day."  That is probably much nicer than saying, "It's been an ASS day," or, "It's been a CRAP day."

So, maybe there are two sides to this debate...but I'm just saying...RAD...it's a bit ironic isn't it?

Heaven's Very Special Child

A friend of mine sent this to me today and I just wanted to pass it along.  -Dawn




Heaven's Very Special Child


A meeting was held quite far from Earth!
It's time again for another birth.
Said the Angels to the LORD above,
This Special Child will need much love.

His progress may be very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show.
And he'll require extra care
From the folks he meets down there.

He may not run or laugh or play,
His thoughts may seem quite far away,
In many ways he won't adapt,
And he'll be known as handicapped.

So let's be careful where he's sent,
We want his life to be content.
Please LORD, find the parents who
Will do a special job for you.

They will not realize right away
The leading role they're asked to play,
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.

And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for their gift from Heaven.
Their precious charge, so meek and mild,
Is HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD.

by Edna Massionilla

Furious...or something like that!

Today is one of those days where I feel FURIOUS!
Today I have HAD it...and, yes, it's only 9:50 A.M.
Today my clown was just pushing my buttons and HE GOT ME.


What was it you ask.  What HORRIFYING thing did he do?  Who did he injure?  What has happened?
Well, let me tell you...


he


    had


            the


                 NERVE

                  
                               to....

ZIP HIS COAT!!!!!!!

I know, right, of all the things!

You are ready to rip his head off with me aren't you?

Here is the back story:

Last week another one of my children went to see their psychologist and they spent most of the time talking about how he was just going to have to assume that every time he was around Clown that Clown was going to misbehave or do something to annoy him...EVERY TIME.  And do you know what?  That is exactly right.  He will, every time.  He loves to control his siblings emotions and make them mad (We can all relate to that can't we.)

So, I had that on my mind and I started the morning with a bit of a chip on my shoulder toward Clown for something that we all know is not at all his fault.  He did not ask to be neglected, abused, ignored, disrupted, or moved from here to there like he was a hand-me-down bicycle...but he was.


So, this morning I started off in not a great place.  When Clown woke up he was in a good mood.  He came into our bedroom to get ready as is his routine.  Then about 15 minutes into his getting ready our son who had just talked to his psychologist about assuming that Clown would misbehave when he was around walked in.  He went into the bathroom and immediately Clown started picking on him...making faces at him, whispering insults at him under his breath, etc...

So, that made me mad.

So, I called Clown to me and had him get ready in my immediate presence.  And he was fine.  And I had him stay with me the rest of the morning.  

So, as we are getting ready to go out the door he can't find his coat.  It is not on his coat hook.  We look for it together and can't find it.  I finally grab a different one and shove him out the door, which made him upset.

So, I tell him to put it on in the van and he refuses.

So, when we get to the school I don't let him get out of the van until he has the coat on.  He puts the coat on and then stands there fiddling with the zipper.  Meanwhile there is a huge line of cars piling up behind us.  I tell Clown not to zip it and just to head in.  He says that he needs it zipped.  I tell him NO and make him get out of the van.

So, he gets out, turns and looks at me, puts his backpack down, smiles, and starts to zip his coat.

So, I tell him to stop and go to class.

So, He picks up his bags and walks about 5 feet.  I start to pull away.  He sees me moving, turns and looks at me, puts his backpack down, smiles at me, and starts to zip his coat.

So, I put the car in park, open my car door, start to get out, and he starts walking again.

So, I close the door and start to drive off.  As I turn to look at him he looks back at me.  Just as I am at the point where I can't turn around. . . . he stops, puts his backpack down, smiles,

and zips his coat.  

So, I am FURIOUS.  But I can't go back.  I started to pull into the other parking lot and head inside when I realize HE WON!!  I can't go inside and get him because I have no shoes and no bra on.  So, that is how him zipping a coat made me Furious!!!  

JUST zipping a coat!!!

Attachment Webinar

Connecting Your Family Inside and Out:
 

Expert advice on how to develop a stronger connection with your child.

 

Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 7:00-8:00PM Central Time
Question and Answer Session: 8:00-8:30 PM Central Time 

Cost: $15  CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Secure parent-child attachments are essential to healthy child development, but often adoption can present challenges to the process.
 

Join world renowned attachment expert Dr. Dan Hughes as he shares family centered strategies on how to  form strong attachments and stay connected throughout your child's development.  Dr. Hughes will be joined by Lynn Wetterberg, Executive Director of ATTACh.  Lynn will discuss finding attachment related resources and provide information on finding adoption competent professional support. 

• Advice on connecting with your child throughout their development
• Expert insights into attachment and attunement
• Information on finding professional support and resources
• Question and Answer session 

Registrants will be contacted and asked to submit questions prior to the event.  We will address as many questions as time will allow.
 

Speakers:
 

 
      Dr. Dan Hughes                                  Lynn Wetterberg,
      Biography                                               M.S., C.P.A.
                                                                       Biography
 
 

Tuesday, March 8, 2011 

7:00-8:00 PM Central Time
Q & A: 8:00 - 8:30 PM Central Time

Cost: $15

Register Now: click here
 

 

Sponsored by:
   

 

---

---

      

Tough Starts Series: Family Matters
 

The series is complete! Course four is now available
 

Many parents with tough start kids feel guilty taking time for themselves.  Family Matters, part of The Tough Starts Series, helps parents recognize the toll raising a tough start child can take on them, their relationships and their other children.  The course offers expert, practical advice and shares real stories to arm parents with techniques they can use to support each member of the family, and themselves, through tough start challenges.

Click Here to learn more about Family Matters

---

---

     

Questions?  Please drop us a line:   webinars@adoptionlearningpartners.org

Did You Ever???

~Think you would raise a child who relaxes more in the arms of a stranger than your own?

~Think 10 seconds would be all the "Hug" your child could comfortably handle from you?

~Think that your child would feel your hug was something they would have to learn to "handle"?

~Hear someone yell the phrase, "I hate you and everything is your fault" at you?

~Wonder how long it would be until your child would realize that if he wants to really hurt you all he has to do is break something expensive like your glasses or your iphone?

~Imagine that your child would be able to throw a fit for a solid 45 minutes?

~Think you could hold your child for all 45 minutes of that tantrum.?

~Know that one child could control so much of your life?

~Think that you could want so desperately for someone to love you back?